Understanding the Change that Lasts
why life hacks are not enough to cultivate lasting success
I have read dozens of self-help and success books in my life thus far and I’ve noticed a common trend on what sticks and what doesn’t. I want to share this finding with you all today.
What’s the Problem?
It is well-known that we live in an instant-gratification culture. We want success right now and we are often convinced that a few simple steps is all it takes to get there. I have seen this idea present in many of the self-help books I have read. A few examples of this may read something like: “3 Habits That Will Take You to the Next Level”, “Do This 1 Thing to Bring Success”, “How I Made 1 Million Dollars in 30 Days”, etc. I’m sure headlines like these ring bells for many of you.
I’m not saying that small, daily habits don’t have their place in our success — because they do. What I have noticed from these books, however, is that these habits, tips, tricks, call them what you will, rarely stick if that is all that is taught. There has to be a deep, compelling why behind them. This why is what brings the change that lasts.
Which Change is the Kind that Lasts?
The change that lasts is not a change in behavior, but a change of heart. That is the change we must seek for: one of the heart. When our hearts change, our desires change, our intentions change, and we change — for the long haul.
Let’s not forget what our goal is: to become successful. I believe we too often forget what the word “become” means. Oxford’s definition of “become” is insightful for us:
become (v.) — begin to be.
The emphasis on becoming is an emphasis on our nature — our very being. We don’t become unless we don’t just do successful things, but are successful. It’s not what we do, but who we are. A change in behavior can only help if that is resulted from a change of heart. An evolution of character. A foundational self-awareness.
What Can We Do About It?
There is no secret formula that causes a change of heart. That should be obvious. A change of heart occurs deep within us and is extremely individualized. However, there is a guiding principle that can aid us as we adjust our mindsets: learn to live by true principles.
As we learn to take a step out of the minutia of our “life hacks”, we learn to focus on the end, not the means. This means that we are more likely to understand the true principles behind why we do what we do. These principles are basic and fundamentally true. For example:
Habit: Reviewing the upcoming week and setting goals and making plans for it.
Principle: I am free to act for myself and choose my life’s path.
Do you see the shift? Learning to understand and live by the fundamental principle of our individual agency is far more effective for changing our nature than religiously abiding by a weekly review would ever be. We see that weekly reviews themselves don’t bring success, but proactively choosing our life’s path brings success — weekly reviews are just a byproduct of living by that principle.
When it comes to a change of heart, we must be firm in principle and flexible in procedure.
Learning to live by principles such as this is what will bring a change that lasts, allowing us to become who we want to become and do so in a way that aligns with our core values.
A change of heart is something that is not often talked about in books, perhaps because there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to teaching it. It’s a hard thing to grasp because it is something that you have to figure out yourself. Ponder what a change of heart means to you and how that affects your intentions behind your actions. When our hearts are right, we feel right. When we feel right, we live at peace. And surely enough, true success will follow.
